Shadows Of The Past
by Annabelle Crane
Summary: A Truck? Gunn sold his soul for a truck? Hmm, maybe not. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!! *Begging for reviews*
1. The Lie

**TITLE**: Shadows Of The Past  
** AUTHOR**: Annabelle  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own them. I just like to write. Don't sue, please!  
**SUMMARY**: Who were you really meant for?  
**DISTRIBUTION**: FanFiction.Net, Wishing Hearts, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
**RATING**: PG  
**WARNING**: Gunn centric, what's up with that! Don't worry still no Gunn/Fred!  
**THANK YOUS**: Many times over to MeriBeth for the title and for some beta stuff.  Candace for being my twin and beta.  Huge big thanks to Jacquin who took the file and cleaned the whole thing up, and she doesn't even really like Gunn!  
**FEEDBACK**: Lots of it please! Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

**Shadows Of The Past** – **Chapter 1**: The Lie  
_by Annabelle_

Names, faces, and places, none of those things were important. Not anymore, he had lied to her.  Gunn could have kicked himself for lying to Fred but he had to, he couldn't bear for her to know the truth, besides it wasn't fair to her.  How could he tell her that once, a long time ago he had sold his soul so that he could be with someone?  That when he did so it was too late, she had already gone, and there was no way to get her back, ever.  He had lost her, the person that meant everything to him and he hadn't been able to do anything to stop it because he was too busy selling his soul to be with her.

He started to pace the floor of his apartment.  Maybe he should go back and tell her the truth, so that there would be no barriers between them.  What would she say?  Would she understand?  Had she ever been so in love with someone that she was willing to give up anything to be with that person?  Something like that only ever happened once, and he knew that. He knew if she asked him if he would do the same thing for her he would have to lie again.  Gunn knew that he loved Fred, but it was a new love. He would never want to see her hurt or hurt her, but for her to know that he was not ready to commit his soul to her, that he may never be able to do something like that for her, it was something that he never wanted her to know.

A small little red light was flashing and caught his attention.  It was his answering machine, he sighed and walked over to it and pushed the button.  "Two new messages," the automated voice told him.

"I figured as much just tell me what they say," he grumbled and flopped down on his couch.

"Hey Charles," Fred's voice came over the machine.  "I just wanted to make sure that ya were okay.  Give me call when ya get in."  She paused, "I love ya."

Gunn tried to smile but he couldn't.  The answering machine kept going.  "Hey brother, it's Junior." One of his old crew.  "I just wanted to let you know that we're heading off to New Mexico.  There is some special Vamp nest there that some rich chic wants us to take out.  If you want in give us a call.  We're leaving in two days."  He breathed and lowered his voice.  "Look man I know now is a really hard time for you and all, but maybe getting away for a bit will be good for you."

"End of new messages," the animated voice said again and then clicked off.

"Hard time," he grunted.  He pushed off the couch and started to pace again.  "It's not a hard time.  Everything is fine.  My life is perfect."  He grunted, "Soul mates, meant to be together, that stuff is all just a bunch of crap.  I don't believe in it, never did."  Gunn looked out his window and stared for a minute.  "This is a waste of my time," he growled.  Walking over to his closet he picked up a cross bow and headed out the door.

Turning the engine over, he started to think about how nice it would be to do a kill on his own again.  The truck though refused to start.  "Damn it." He hit the steering wheel, "What's wrong with you?"  He opened the car door and jerked the bow towards him.  "Fine," he yelled at his truck.  "You don't wanna help me, fine.  I'll do this on my own."  He got out and started to walk away but he got two steps before he started to remember something and dropped the bow and fell to his knees.

***

"I don't want you to go by yourself.  Alonna doesn't either.  Gunn, she needs her big brother," the young woman pleaded.  "Please don't do this."

Gunn kept packing his things.  "I got to do this," he told her without looking at her.  "You don't understand."

She grabbed at his arm, "I do understand."  She made him turn around and look at her.  "God Gunn, out of anyone here I understand the most.  I watched those monsters take my little brother, right in front of me," a tear fell down her face.  "I lost him, I don't want to lose you too."

"You won't." Gunn told her.  He took his head and leaned it against hers.  "Everything is going to be alright.  I just need to do this."

"Then take Rondell with you," she whispered to him.  "As back up."

Gunn pulled away from her, "Rondell isn't ready.  Do you want him to get killed?"

"No!" she shouted.  "Of course not.  But I don't want you to get killed either."  She let herself calm down.  "Take me with you."

"No," he whipped around and looked at her.  "You aren't going and don't you ever say that again."

"Why?" she hissed.  "It's okay for you to go out every night and day and risk your skin, put your life on the line, but it's not okay for me?"

"You have more at stake."  He went over and took her hand in his.  "You have your whole life ahead of you."

"So do you."  She gave him a sad look.  "Gunn," she paused and put her hand on his chin so that he would look at her.  "Charles, you have your whole life too.  With me.  Money, power, a big house, you know none of that stuff matters to me.  The only time I feel like I am really myself, that I am whole, is when I am with you."

"You aren't ready," he tried again.

"Neither were you the first time you went out," she reminded him.  "But you are still here, and now you have a whole slue of people to back you up.  So take one of them."

He shook his head again.  "No," he sighed.  "I'll do this on my own."  Then he headed for the door.

"Gunn," she cried after him.  "Charles!"

He kept walking away.

"Don't walk away from me," she ran after him.  "Don't do this!"

He started to pick up his pace.

She ran.  Her feet hit the pavement hard but she did not care.  "Stop!" she grabbed his arm and made him turn around.  "Look at me," tears were streaming down her face.  "Please, don't do this."

Fear was in her eyes.  Fear of losing him and he knew why, because chances were that he would not come back if he went.  "Alright," he gave in.  "I won't go.  Not tonight."

"Thank you," she sprung into his arms and held him close.  "I love you so much."

He kissed the top of her head and hugged her back.  "I love you too Deirdre."

***

Thoughts tangled inside his mind but he finally made it up and it was done.  His soul was gone.  When he told Deirdre that he would give anything up to be with her he meant it, and he knew she would do the same for him, but he would not let her.  So he had gone and done the one thing that he knew would bind them together for the rest of their lives, so they could be happy.

Gunn was not sure how he would tell her and that was why he was standing outside waiting to go in.  Once he finally did get inside he was shocked at what he found.  She wasn't there.  She was gone.  He tried to call but she did not pick up.  Finally Rondell came and told him what had happened but he did not believe him, wouldn't.  She would not do something to him, she loved him too much.

"Look man," Rondell was trying to reason with him.  "I am telling you the truth.  She went out that door and she ain't coming back."

Gunn slammed him into a wall, "I don't believe you.  She wouldn't do that!"

Rondell pushed back.  "I saw her.  She came here and asked for you.  Then she said she couldn't be here anymore that she had to go.  She said that she was marrying that guy tonight man." 

"No," Gunn growled.  "Deirdre, loves me, she wouldn't do that."  He started to pace, "We said we would give up everything just to be with each other, she meant it, I know she did."

"She was afraid for you," Rondell told him.  "You know what her pops is like.  He would have kept sending people after you and there was nothing you could have done to stop it."

"It's not suppose to be like this," Gunn shook his head.  "This is not the way things were suppose to turn out."

"I know man," Rondell sighed.  "But she did this for your own good.  You know you guys would have never worked out.  You would have to make a devil's deal or something to keep you together."

Gunn just gave him a look.  "I did make a deal," he said quietly.

"No," Rondell started to back up.  "You're lying, man.  You didn't make a deal."

"I did," Gunn hissed.  "My soul so we could be together for the rest of our lives."

"No man," Rondell kept backing up.  "No, no, no!  This is bad."  He slammed his fist into a wall.  "Man, why'd ya do it?  Don't you know what happens?"

"I know what happens," he spat out.  "Obviously though I didn't make the deal soon enough.  I was too damn chicken and now I have lost her."

"Damnit!" Rondell started to say something and then stopped.  "I didn't think you could be so stupid."

"I love her," he yelled back.  Then Gunn sunk to the floor.  "She was everything to me."

Rondell watched the person that he had come to respect crumple on the floor.  He was broken and a shell of himself.  "If this is what love does to you," he muttered heading for the door.  "Then I want no part of it, and you should stay away from it for the rest of the time you have left."

***

"Stay away from it," Gunn snorted.  That's what he should have done.  He should have stayed away from love and now he was going to pay for his mistake.  Fred was going to get hurt and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  Killing two or twenty demons in a night was not going to make his problems go away.

Picking himself off the ground he started to head back upstairs to his apartment.  Maybe going away for a while would be good.  It would give him time to think about how he was going to tell Fred that he had lied to her.  He would be away from all the hostility of the office and be able to think with a clear head for once.  Going away could be good, it might even be the thing that he needed.  He could go away and then come back and tell Fred that things weren't okay with them, that he had to let her go.  She would not accept that and it would kill him, he loved her, but it was not the same, it never could be, because she wasn't her.

***

"Hey there," Junior said quietly to the woman.  "How are ya doing?"

The woman stretched a little from behind her wooden desk.  Her longish brown hair brushed over her shoulders in a struggle to get it away from her eyes.  She rested her chin on her hand.  "Okay I guess," she smiled.  "This client is being picky though."

"Are you sure you want us going then?" he sat down opposite her.

"You have to," she nodded.  "Besides, I am looking to get some help."  She pushed a file over to him.  "The client recommended him, didn't say much about him, or who he used to work for, just that he was available now and that if I want more pay that I should look into getting him."

Junior picked up the folder.  "Why do you need someone like him?" he asked.

"For verifications for the clients.  So they know that they are getting the real thing," she laughed a little.  "So they don't think that I am slacking off and giving them fakes.  If they wanted a fake they would just go out and buy one."

"But he used to work for," Junior started but then stopped.

The woman tilted her head and looked at him with her green eyes.  "Work for who?"

"Nothing."

"No," she shook her head.  "Not anything. Do you know him?"

"Of him," Junior said.  "You know that hit we did on that demon club."

"Um," she fidgeted a little.  "Yeah," she looked down.  "The one that I told you not to do?"

"That one," he nodded.  "I still don't get why you are all uptight about that."

"I just don't think attacking innocent people is a good thing," she shrugged.  "You know the whole protect the innocent theme that you guys had going.  Those demons couldn't hurt anyone in that club and you knew that going in."

Junior sighed, "Well, you were right about some of that.  We were just seeing the black and the white."

"It's okay," she smiled.  "I did that for a long time too.  But really not all demons are bad.  Vampires on the other hand…"

"For sure," Junior nodded.  "Which is why you might want to rethink about recruiting this guy.  He used to work for this Vamp named Angel."

She took in a sharp breath and looked at him.  "You mean," she sputtered.  "Angel Investigations, that paranormal detective agency that put out all those fliers a few months ago, it's run by a Vampire!"

"Which is why we are always telling you to stay away from there," he gave her a concerned look.  "You know he wouldn't want you going anywhere near a place like that." 

"I know," she looked down and let her hair fall in front of her face.  "I miss him so much.  It still hurts all the time."

"It will get better," Junior took her hand.  "You'll feel better once we get this nest out."

"You are right," she took back the file.  "Once all the Vér are dead I will feel much better."

"So will we all."  He sat there for a minute then got up.  "Look Deirdre I got to get going.  But we will have our cell phone on so if you need anything while we are gone…"

"I know," she smiled at him.  "I'll call.  You aren't leaving until two days from now are you?"

"Yep, but we gotta have a plan."

Deirdre chuckled, "That is very good to know.  A plan is important."

"Especially since we are doing this for him."

"For Gunn," a small tear ran down her face.  "I wish.  I just wish that…"

"Oh Deirdre," Junior sighed.  "I am sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

She wiped the tear away.  "No," she sniffed.  "It's okay.  It's just hard this time of year.  This whole week I kept having this nightmare.  That I was there and I just stood there watching them, the Vér, feed off him, and then make him drink.  Then," she choked on her words, "then I see Rondell go after Gunn, then kill him, so that he doesn't have to go through the rest of his life as a Vampire, but that is not the worst part," she shook her head, "no the worst part is that I beg Rondell not to kill him.  Every night I beg him to leave Gunn."

Junior stood there and didn't say anything.  "You know that is not how it went.  You know that don't you?  The whole crew was there.  He went in before we got there and there was nothing anyone could do.  We had to burn him, so that if he had drunk he wouldn't turn."

Deirdre didn't say anything.  "It was what he would have wanted," she said carefully.  "I know that."

"Alright then," Junior headed for the door and then turned again.  "You sure you are going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Deirdre started to chew on her pen.  "I just need to decide what to do about him."  She looked at Junior, "Can he be trusted?"

"Well since he isn't working for that bloodsucker anymore," he shrugged.  "Yeah, I guess."

"Thanks for the vote of support," she rolled her eyes.  "Bring everyone back."

"I will," he reassured her and then ducked out of the office closing the door behind him.  He looked back at the light coming from behind it as he started to walk down the hallway of the art gallery.  'You should tell her,' a small voice in his head spoke to him.  It was the same voice that he heard every day since Rondell had been killed.  But he gave his word and he wasn't about to go back on it.  Whatever happened Deirdre could never find out that Gunn was still alive and working for a vampire, of all things.  Junior shook himself to clear his mind and then exited the art gallery and walked towards the direction of his home.

***

Deirdre scowled a little from behind her desk.  "Why should I trust you?" she asked the person sitting across from her.

"Because I want the Vér dead as much as you do," the middle age man said.  "They killed my wife, raped my daughter and then turned her."

"I understand that," she nodded.  "But your record among my patrons is bad, to say the least.  Some of them have almost been exposed because of you."

He snorted, "I thought the only good demon was a dead demon."

"These people aren't demons," she stood up and gave him a hard look.  "Understand this Mr. Milstone, these people that allow me to have the honor of displaying their art work happen to be innocent bystanders whose mother or father happened to do violent things to a human.  They were lucky enough to be placed in a home and live a semi-normal childhood and live until they entered adulthood and found out about their unfortunate curse.  They are not demons, just the misfortunate."

Milstone waved her off.  "I don't care what you do or how you run your business.  I heard that you had people to take care of this kind of thing.  Well I am willing to pay your people money Ms. Vandeerwalt. Unless you are too busy taking care of demons to kill some Vampires."

"They aren't," Deirdre started to snap but she stopped.  She clenched her fist and her knuckles turned white.  "My people are in New Mexico right now.  There is a nest of Vér there that they are taking care off.  They wont be back until the day after tomorrow."

"No," Milstone shook his head.  "This needs to be taken care of tonight!"

"What's the rush Mr. Milstone?  They will still be undead tomorrow."

Pushing up from his chair Milstone headed for the door.  "The deal is tonight or nothing.  This is a moving nest."

"Moving nest," she eyed him.  "They know that someone is coming, don't they?"  Mr. Milstone didn't say anything.  "Well, don't they?"

"What does it matter to you?" Milstone hissed.  "I thought you would do anything to see the Vér become dust."

"Anything but get my people hurt," she replied.  "They are my family and the only people that matter to me and I am not about to put their lives on the line just because you want to pay us.  I have a very successful business Mr. Milstone; my people don't need your money.  Now get out."

"You are making a huge mistake." Milstone stared at her.

She glared at him.  "I don't see how.  My people are in New Mexico.  I am not about to recall them to clean up your mess."

"You are telling me that you sent everyone to go after some nest in New Mexico.  That you didn't keep some back up here.  What kind of a leader are you?"

Deirdre was about to make a smart remark but then she bit her tongue.  A simple thought crossed her mind, she could get rid of the Vér and the group of people who had obviously gone insane, and insure her newest would-be recruit's loyalty.  "Fine," she held up her hands.  "But they are going to want double what you offered, up front."

"Double," Milstone choked but he saw the look on her face and pulled out his checkbook.  He clenched his jaw, "Fine."  Picking up a pen he started to write.  Then he tore the check from his checkbook and handed it to her, "Double, up front."

"Thank you Mr. Milstone," she looked over the check.  "Once the bank clears it I will get on this.  Do you have a card that I can reach you at?"

He tossed the card across the desk.  "Just get it done."  He turned and stalked out of her office.

"And a good day to you too," she called after him.  Deirdre hummed a little and opened her desk drawer.  There was a yellow flyer in it that she had found on the ground a few months ago.  "We help the helpless," she read aloud.  "I'll bet.  Well let's just see how helpful you are."  Then she punched a button on the intercom that she had on her desk.  "Shannon, I have a check that I need cleared."

"Yes Ms. Vandeerwalt," the secretary said from the other side.

Deirdre leaned back in her chair and smiled.  "This will be a good day after all."

***

Inside the Hyperion hotel all was pretty much quiet.  Cordelia and Groo were training in the basement, Angel was trying not to sulk in the office but it wasn't working, and Fred was trying to read while Lorne kept trying to get her to stop reading and go enjoy life.  Gunn watched the whole scene before him with a little smile.  It was the way things were suppose to be.  Sure Wes wasn't there but still things were good.  He got up from his seat and went over to where Lorne and Fred were.  "Hey, you been bugging my girl?" he asked.

Lorne snorted.  "I am just telling her that if she keeps her nose in a book the whole time she is going to miss out on life."

"Like what?" Gunn laughed.  "Helping you pick out colors for the club that Angel isn't going to let you have in the ballroom."

"No," Lorne tried to cover.  "Besides what makes you think that he won't let me have it?  You guys destroyed my club."

"Does the word not happening mean anything to you?" Gunn laughed.  "I'm going to the kitchen.  Need anything?"

"Water please," Fred said and got a look from both of them.  "What?  I'm not allowed to drink water?"

"Sorry baby," Gunn laughed.  "You are right."  He kissed her and then went off to the kitchen.

"Now then," Lorne continued.

"Oh come on Lorne," Fred pleaded with him.  "I really, really want to read this."

He gave her a look.  "Why?  So you can be a bookworm all your life?"

"No," she shook her head.  "Cause I-"

A rather frantic looking woman who burst into the hotel lobby cut off Fred from finishing her sentence.  She was pretty, or so Fred thought, despite the fact that her green eyes were puffy from crying and the long brown hair that she had was tangled. The sound of a gulp made Fred look at Lorne and the expression on his face told her that this woman was more than just pretty.

"Is this," the woman's voice trembled.  "Is this Angel Investigations?"

Fred stood up and passed by Lorne who was still busy gawking.  "Yes," she smiled at the woman.  "I'm Fred.  How can I help you?"

"I don't know," she said.  "I just, and there was…  I just don't know what to believe anymore."  A tear started to run down her face.

"Hey Fred," Gunn called out as he walked back into the room.  "I couldn't find the water so I got you a soda."  He was about to hand her the soda when he saw who was standing in the lobby.

"Oh my god," the woman gasped.

Gunn felt like the wind had been knocked out of him but he managed one word, "Deirdre."

Before she could say anything Deirdre's eyes rolled up into her head.  Slowly her body went limp and fell to the floor.  Gunn dropped the sodas he had and went to catch her calling out her name again.  He held her so carefully in his arms and it made Fred hurt to watch him.  Something was wrong with this whole thing, very wrong, and she could feel it in her stomach.


	2. Finding You

TITLE: Shadows Of The Past  
AUTHOR: Annabelle  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I just like to write. Don't sue, please!  
SUMMARY: Wesley's life always seem to be coming undone  
DISTRIBUTION: FanFiction.Net, Wishing Hearts, Hello World: Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
RATING: PG  
WARNING: Very sad, but not evil Fred or evil Wesley at all.  
THANK YOUS: Many times over to MeriBeth for the title and for some beta stuff.  Candace for being my twin and beta.  Huge big thanks to Jacquin who took the file and cleaned the whole thing up, and she doesn't even really like Gunn! 

FEEDBACK: Lots of it please! Send to Annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

Shadows Of The Past – Chapter 2: Finding You

by Annabelle

Gunn could feel his heart race.  Carefully he picked Deirdre up and took her to the round couch.  "Deirdre," he slapped her face lightly.  "Come on baby.  Wake up."

"Gunn," Lorne questioned him. 

He looked up at the demon and Fred standing there.  His nightmare was coming true.  Fred was going to find out about everything.  Right now he couldn't think about any of that, the only thing that mattered was that Deirdre was hurt and he had to help her.  "Go get some water."

"I thought you said there wasn't any," Fred said.  She didn't look at him, instead focused on the fallen sodas.

"Then get something else," he growled.  "Deirdre wake up," Gunn slapped a little harder this time.  He had managed to sit himself down on the round couch and prop her up against his body.

"Oh," Deirdre moaned.  "I feel awful."

"Well you hit the floor pretty hard," Gunn told her.

"Gunn," she looked up at him.  "Oh god.  Gunn."

"Shh," he whispered.  "Just relax."

"Oh my god," her eyes were full of confusion.  Then they rolled back again and her body once more went limp.

Gunn almost threw his arms up but realized he couldn't because he would drop her.  "This is ridiculous!  Deirdre, come on now girl."  He moved her so that she was sitting on the couch with her head between her knees.

"Here," Lorne handed him a soda.  "Only thing we got besides it is tap water."

"Give it here," Gunn popped the soda and waited for Deirdre to wake up again.  "Come on baby girl," he rubbed her back.  "Wake up."

Fred heard it again.  This time she was sure of it, not like the first.  Slowly she slipped out of the lobby and started to head for the back staircase.  Tears were slowly forming in her eyes.  She took another step back and felt someone behind her.

"Fred," Angel turned her so that she was looking at him.  "What's going on?"

Fred sniffled.  "He called her baby," she managed to stammer out.

"Who called who baby?" Angel shook his head.

Fred started to tremble.  "I can't," she tried to stop the sob.  "I have to go."  She turned and started to run up to her room.

"Fred, wait," Angel called after her.  He went further into the lobby and saw Gunn sitting next to a woman who was slouched over.  "What's with Fred?  And who is that?"

"Deirdre apparently," Lorne said for Gunn who was still busy trying to bring around the young woman.

"Hmm," Angel saw the scene before him and it started to add up.  "Old girlfriend?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Lorne shrugged.

Then Deirdre moaned again.  "My head," she tried to sit up but someone was keeping her down.

"If I let you up you have to promise not to faint again," Gunn spoke.

"Gunn," Deirdre's voice went weak again.

"Yes it's me," he told her softly.  "Now will you please stop fainting?"

She nodded her head and felt him loosen his grip on her head.  Slowly she pulled herself up and kept her eyes closed.  When she was up right she opened them and saw before her a pair of brown eyes that she never thought she would see again.  A little gasp escaped her throat and she put her hand to her mouth.  "They told me…" she choked out.  "You're alive," she cried and flung her arms around him.  "Oh god you are alive.  How is this?  Everyone thinks…"

"What?" Gunn was in total shock.  Not only from finding out that Deirdre thought he was dead but also from the fact that she was holding him again.  Her scent filled his senses and he held her tighter to him.

Before she knew what she was doing Deirdre sprang away from him.  She took a good look at him and then at where she was.  "You," she stammered.  "You're a Vampire.  They turned you.  Oh god.  Oh god!"

"Deirdre," Gunn stood up and he started toward her but she backed away from him.  "Hold up a second."

"No, stay away from me," she screamed.  "I can't believe it.  Why didn't they tell me that you were turned?  Rondell said…"

"Rondell said what?" Gunn's eyes got dark.

"He said," she kept looking around, her eyes darting around the room.  "You went in before the others got there.  They found you and they didn't know, couldn't tell, so they had to, and when I got there it was too late, there were only ashes.  Why didn't they tell me?"

"Deirdre," Gunn held up his hands.  "I am not a Vampire and I am not dead."

She wanted so badly to believe him.  Every fiber in her body was telling her just to run to him.  "How can I believe you?" she looked at him with sad eyes.  "You are working for a vampire.  There is a demon here for crying out loud Gunn!"

"I'll prove it," he said, not really sure how.

"My bag," she pointed to it.  "There is a cross in there."

"You brought a cross," he looked at her.

"Well they told me there was a Vampire here," she shrugged.  "They just didn't tell me it was you."

"He's not a Vampire lady," Angel hissed at her.

Deirdre snorted, "You expect me to believe you?"

"If you didn't believe me," Gunn said the word me rather pointedly.  "You would have already been gone by now."  He turned and held the cross up and showed her.

A tear started to roll down her cheek.  Deirdre almost refused to believe it, but he was there standing in front of her and he was fine.  She took a step closer and looked at him.  "It's really you." her voice was so soft he could barely hear her.

"Yes," he smiled at her.  "It's really me."

"I thought you were dead," she sobbed a little.  "We all did."

"I'm not."

Deirdre took another step.  "You are here.  With me."

"Yes," Gunn could feel himself being pulled to her.  Her pain was his but also her joy.  All of the emotions that she was feeling, he could feel.

"Oh god," she ran to him to him and held him tight to her.

"You aren't gonna faint again," he chuckled.

Deirdre laughed through her tears and looked up at him.  "Oh yeah," her mouth inched closer to his.  "You're fine."

Before it happened he knew it was going to and he leaned into her voluntarily.  Her lips meet with his and for the first time in a long time he felt whole.  Gunn didn't notice the small figure watching him from the Mezzanine.  He didn't see her crumple to the floor or hear he painful sob, and neither did anyone for that matter.  They were all too busy gawking at the scene before them to notice a broken Fred crawl back to her room in tears, choking for air.

Slowly Fred pulled herself across the floor to her room and crawled into bed.  Her whole body ached all over.  The pain she had felt the other day when Charles had dumped her was nothing compared to this.  Fred wanted to run, she wanted to get away from all of this but she didn't have anywhere to go.  So instead she just lay there in bed letting her soul get torn away at and she did nothing to try to stop it.

***

After a few more moments Gunn realized what he was doing.  "Stop," he pushed Deirdre away.  "Stop."

"What?" Deirdre looked at him.  "Oh you are right."  She backed away and then her green eyes became dark.  "I forgot something."  She pulled back her hand and slapped him hard.

"Ow!" Gunn put his hand to his face.  "What did you do that for?!"

"Why did you let us all think you were dead?" she screamed at him.  "We mourned for you.  We had a funeral!  And you have been here this whole time, not once thinking that it would be a good idea to tell your own crew, family, that you were alive?"

"What are you talking about?" Gunn yelled back.  "Junior just called me two days ago.  Said he was going to New Mexico cause some rich chic was paying them to take out a Vamp nest."  Then he looked at her.  "Wait a minute.  That rich chic is you."

"Well," Deirdre crossed her arms in front of her.  "Yeah.  Someone has to provide for them."

"I wouldn't think you owed them or anyone anything after taking off and marrying the rich bastard you married," he hissed.

"Rich bastard," she totally taken aback.  "What rich bastard?  Cause if I am married to him, no one ever told me."

Gunn was about to go at her again but Lorne stopped him.  "Okay kids," he stood between them.  "There is obviously some major misunderstanding here.  So why don't we all just take a deep breath and try to figure it out."

"Deep breath?" Deirdre cried.  "I oughta kill him where he stands.  Leaving poor Alonna like that!  Do you know how much time I spent with her, how many hours we cried for you?  When you were here all the time!"

"What are you talking about?" Gunn growled back.  "I was the one crying on Alonna's shoulder over you."  He saw the shocked looks from Lorne and Angel.  "What?  She was the love of my life."

"Who obviously didn't mean that much to you since you didn't see fit to tell her that you were still alive!" Deirdre made a charge for him but Lorne held her back.

"Didn't mean that much?" Gunn scoffed.  "Didn't mean that much to me?  You were everything to me!  I even-"

"Okay," Angel held up his hands.  "Enough."

"What?" Gunn looked at him.

"Stay out of this," Deirdre hissed.

Angel approached her with a very serious look.  "Well now you see I would.  But Gunn is my friend and I would like for him to make it through the day in one piece."

"If I have my way you won't make it through the day in one piece," Deirdre spat.

"Real nice girl you got here Gunn," Angel glared at her.  "Real nice."

Gunn was torn but finally decided on something.  "Unless you got something to say Angel," he warned the Vampire not to pick on Deirdre.

"Well it's nothing really," Angel shrugged.  "Just that you are both telling the truth."

"What?"  Gunn looked from Angel then to Deirdre.  He couldn't believe it.

Deirdre shook her head.  "I am suppose to believe a Vampire?" she struggled a little against Lorne and he let her go.  "Yeah right.  Maybe in my next life time."

"No wait," Gunn stopped her.  "Deirdre who told you seven years ago that I was dead?"

"Rondell," She answered.  "But the whole crew knew about it.  They all helped me out, even Alonna."

He nodded at her.  "Rondell told me that you had left me.  He said that you went off to marry some rich guy cause you were scared about what your dad would do to me."  Then he added, "And the whole crew and Alonna helped me through it."

"But why would they?" Deirdre shook her head.  "No I don't believe it.  They are like my family.  They wouldn't do something like this to me.  You're lying."

"You don't believe me," Gunn threw up his hands.  "Fine.  Call Junior.  No wait.  Better yet.  I'll call Junior.  On the speakerphone, that way you can hear me talk to him and hear him talk to me like I am not dead."

"Okay," she nodded.  "Fine.  Do you need his cell phone number?"

"No," Gunn gritted his teeth.  "I know his cell phone number.  He gave it to me when he got it."

"You mean when I gave it to him," Deirdre hissed back.

"Did they just go from a joyful reunion to hating each others' guts?"  Lorne asked Angel as they watched the two approach the phone at the counter.

Angel nodded, "Pretty much."

"Alright," Lorne kept watching.  "I was just checking to make sure that I hadn't missed anything."

A strange smile crossed over Gunn's face.  Fighting with her like this was almost like old times.  Every couple fights, it is the making up later that counted, well every couple but him and Fred.  They only ever fought once, and it wasn't even real fighting, he was doing most of the yelling.  Carefully he punched the buttons and started to dial Junior's number.  "Maybe you should pull up a chair or something," he sneered.  "I wouldn't want you to faint again."

"Shut up and call," she muttered.  She waited impatiently while the phone rang.  In the back of her mind Deirdre knew what was going to happen.  Junior would pick up and answer Gunn like they had just seen each other two hours ago, proving that Gunn had been right.  They both had been played, but why was the real question.  The sound of Junior's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Hey bro," Junior said over the speakerphone.  "I was starting to wonder about you.  I was worried that you were upset at me or something, cause I brought her up.  But I figured you could use the time off so."

"No Junior," Gunn spoke into the phone.  "I am not upset about that."  He looked at Deirdre whose face was a mix of pain and sorrow and he knew exactly how she felt.  "Not about that."

"Bastard," Deirdre yelled at the top of her lungs into the phone.  "You bastard.  I hate you!  I hate you!"  She made rush at the phone and it looked like she was going to start pounding it.  Gunn grabbed her and held her back as the tears flowed down her face.  "You bastard!  Why did you do it, why?"

"Deirdre," Junior gasped over the phone.  "Deirdre it isn't like that.  Let me explain."

"No," Deirdre struggled against Gunn.  "No, no, no!"

"Junior," Gunn spoke over the woman's sobs.  "I got to go now."  He clicked off the phone and held Deirdre against him.  "Shh," he stroked her hair letting her curl into him.  "It's gonna be okay, baby.  It's gonna be okay."

"I hate him," Deirdre cried.

"I know," Gunn sighed and held her tighter.  "I know."

Angel watched them.  They were drawing strength from each other he could feel it.  But at the same time he could feel someone else becoming weaker.  He looked around and saw Fred hiding in the shadows watching them.  It surprised him that she was standing there just taking everything in.  Fred's body seemed so much smaller at that moment and Angel could swear that she just kept making herself smaller.

"I just don't understand," Deirdre's voice brought back his attention.  She was sitting down in a chair now and Gunn was kneeling in front of her.  "What really happened that night?  I mean I got there and they told me you were dead."

"Do you remember what time it was," Gunn asked her holding her hands in his.

Deirdre shook her head.  "I don't remember much," tears still were coming down her face.  "I just remember Alonna taking me away and trying to get me to eat something.  I wasn't hungry.  She told me that I had to be strong.  That you would have wanted me to, but I couldn't be because losing you was like losing my whole world.  I even felt bad because it seemed to me that all of the attention, the condolences were coming to me and not to Alonna."

"I remember," Gunn said.  "It was about 11 at night.  I had been standing outside for probably a half an hour before I finally went inside and you weren't there."

"A half hour?" Deirdre looked at him.  "Why so long?"

"Because," Gunn paused.  He had to tell her, tell her everything.  "Because I had sold my soul so that we could be together and I didn't know how to tell you."

"No," a small shriek came from across the room.  Everyone turned to see a Fred back away from them towards the door.  "No," she said again, shaking her head.

"Fred," Gunn called out to her.  It was too late though.  Fred was gone.  It had taken her about half a second to dash out the door and Gunn almost went after her.  He couldn't though, Deirdre was there and she needed him, and his need for her was so great.  If someone asked him to explain it he wouldn't have been able to, but no matter how much his mind was yelling at him to go after Fred, his soul was yelling ten times louder to stay there with Deirdre.


End file.
